This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
