He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
