this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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