Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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