You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
