we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize