So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
