# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize