He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
