she woke up with a sticky ear
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize