Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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