Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
