you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
