my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We're using joints as your birthday candles
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
