I can text with my tongue
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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