dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Who died my cat blue again?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
