Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
