is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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