I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
