you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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