At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
