sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
