And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
3pm strippers are depressing
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
