What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
