cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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