I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize