and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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