I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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