He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
