we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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