I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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