That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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