So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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