high people should be assigned attendants
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
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