It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize