i barfeds in our rink
stop calling my apartment porn island.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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