drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
