He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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