nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
