I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I currently don't understand fingers.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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