When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
