Yo dont text me then not text me
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
honey bunches of taint.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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