My room smells like vodka and shame
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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