i just had sex bonerless
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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