I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
