Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
