I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
