they need to just BURY HIM!
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
