oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize