we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize