If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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