Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
