i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
