Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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