you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
