you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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