We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
