Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
they need to just BURY HIM!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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