out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
