I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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