Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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