she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
