I'm lost and stupid without you.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
