Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
