It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Randomize
