I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
