His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
