real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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