Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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