And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Randomize
