How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
