i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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