so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Success! We fucked roommates!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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