apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
