My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
