I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
