this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
