is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
