We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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